Clipping The Wings

The North and South City of Radhan is connected by a magically suspended bridge, known for its beauty, elegance, and great looking vistas. Just by paying a meager two Koens, civilians could pass through it while distracted by the view of the clouds hanging above the city’s skyline. The air is cold and clear, rays of light penetrates the gaps between each buildings, casting soft shadows unto passing cars. A photo spot was made near the midpoint of the bridge. A balcony in the shape of a half circle, with safety iron fences erected around its edge. A determined man has climbed over the shoulder height fences and step into a small ledge that lies beyond. They are dare devils, some even slipping and falling into the abyss below. The voids are indifferent to a man’s life, their body will remain missing forever. The government hastily stamped a large sign on top of the fences, trying to discourage these men-children. A large caution was printed on it, “Five Million Koens and Ten Years of Prison”.

It deters the daredevils, yet leaves some room for other civilians to capture candid photos in funny poses to feed the algorithms of social media. There was even a series of commercials being shot overlooking the horizon. Good aesthetics always beats any grim reminder of the lives taken by this spot.

Today, one daredevil decided to ignore the warnings. He is a man in his fifties, his feet is firmly placed on the edge. Jax Fergusson a husband and a father of three. The abyss gave him a state of panic, anxiety, and relief at the same time. He’s dressed up, wearing a suit for professionals, freshly cleaned, not a wrinkle on it. He put his pair of shoes behind him, alongside a piece of paper that’s neatly put together. No one will see him jumping, not until it’s already too late.

Today’s name is called Lernen, the first day of the five days a week cycle. The clock points at 1300, right after lunch time. The white collared workers already went back to the office. The road is nearly empty, one can be forgiven not to notice a tiny specs of a man behind a tall fence.

No one would notice Jax, except for a pair of men watching from the sideline. They are sitting on a nearby bench unbeknownst to him. Their names are Lux and Bran, two angels sent from the headquarters to deal with the situation. When I said angel, I don’t mean it metaphorically. I’m talking about real, divine, and otherworldly beings made out of light.

“How much are we going to get again? Saving this guy wouldn’t net us much, right?” Lux is pondering, his chin is resting on his fist.

“I think we’ll get at least ten, fifteen tops. For you, that is more than enough.” Bran replied, his back rested on the bench.

“Yeah but we’ve been staking this guy for three days, that’s like 5 per day which is way below average. Don’t we have a union solving sich like these?”

“We were made to live and serve, not create an office drama. Only Satan unionized against God.” Bran continues to watch for their target. Jax is still unmoved by the wind, or his own volition.

“Creating a union is evil?”

“Only if its against God, dude. Now stop slacking and deal with it. I’m getting a munch after this.” Bran said it while rubbing his belly, its large but definitely not obese.

Lux reluctantly walked towards his target, his feet drags across the pavement like a sulking child. The air behind him glistens from a fine and clear dust coming out of his wing. It’s white, soft, and can spread to five meters when fully extended. His body can selectively pass through objects, though its easier when its thin like the fence. He moves freely in the air, as if he’s walking on a solid surface. His wings supported him automatically, like riding a bike, but effortless.

“What are you doing Jax?”

The poor man is shocked by Lux’s sudden presence. From his perspective the angel appeared in front of him instantly. This is his first time conversing with an angel, which means he is nearing the rock bottom. He shook his head around, Jax thought his eyes might be playing a trick on him. Maybe it’s the blinding effect of the afternoon sky.

“Nope, I’m real as one can be Jax. A real angel, in the flesh. Or more like, in the light. Again, tell me what you’re doing here, cause I’m starting to not like it.” Lux stood in the air with his back straight and hands in his pockets.

“I don’t want to die, Mister Angel, but I must. I’ve done bad things, bad, bad, things. I need to die, but I don’t want to. But I need to. Yet, I don’t want to.” Jax rambles on, unsure of his own fate.

“Your lady will miss you, she will miss your face. The abyss is cold and no one will be able to help you down there. Well, no one beside God could, but your fate after death is way beyond my salary.”

“There’s an after-life? Also, you got paid by God?” Jax was not a religious man, so this is a revelation to him.

“You’re looking at one, I was a human too. Not everyone is able to be an angel, the lucky ones goes straight to heaven. But I got unfinished business down here.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. But can you please not disturb me, I’m trying to kill myself here.” Jax is more annoyed than scared about his potential demise.

“No, you’re still doubting yourself. If not, we wouldn’t be talking in the first place.”

“Aren’t you supposed to save me, Mister Angel?”

“Your death or life is in your own hand. I can’t force you to do anything. Though I’m obligated to make sure you won’t do anything you’ll regret.” Lux said it like he meant it.

Jax slowly looked down from the horizon, he only sees a vague blue nothingness below. His life flashes between his eyes, the time when he graduated from university, his first job, his first girlfriend, his second, third, and so on. He realizes he’s not willing to summarize everything he had done in life with a simple jump. Today might not be his day, but it should also not be his last. He went back from the fence towards the balcony. Lux cracked a smile, his wings flapped to help Jax away from the edge. Meanwhile, Bran is sitting still and out of the gaze of mortals, trying his hardest not to steal the spotlight.

The poor man walked away from the fence, his face looks defeated and lost. He nonchalantly wore his shoes again, his hand is clutching to a supposed “last letter”. He lied down on the floor, his limbs stretched outwards, his belly is staring at the sky above. Jax knew not to care of the dirty floor, his mind had wandered far from this photo spot. He can see himself buying a house on a remote island, playing hand-made toys with his children, performing romantic poems to his wife, and tending the field of fruits and veggies for a local co-op. A cycle of life of serenity, he thought.

“Can I read your letter?” Asked Lux.

Jax gave the letter without a second thought, while Lux tear the top apart cleanly with his fingernails. Its a white paper written beautifully with a black ink and stamped with his official signature. Apart from being handwritten, one could argue that this looks as professional as it comes. Lux read the letter slowly, his face turns sour and confused.

“You really took that performance appraisal seriously huh?”

It’s a resignation letter. From being a husband, a coworker, and from life. All because he got a bad result on his latest appraisal. This could make or break one’s bank, because Jax’s bonus is tied to his performance review. No bonus, less opportunity for growth, and most importantly, fewer things to boast. In a world where war is cold, murder is televised yet never felt, people grasp to the little things they had life.

“You’re richer than 93.5% of the population. Take a vacation, play with your kids. You can definitely afford a trip to Roze.”

Lux is not speaking from his experience. The guidebook thought angels with a set of basic skills, which includes handling a case of suicide watch. The book pushes to remind them of familiar faces, places, and events for people like Jax. In a lot of cases, they just lost their purpose and need a refresher. A reminder that life is more than just your most tiring moments.

“You don’t understand, this is all I have. My kids, my wife, my job, they would’ve left me in the dust when I got broke. I’ve spent too much time at work, They won’t be happy when all I got from this training is a B-. The migraine I’ve gone through, the unpaid midnight rendezvous with our client, and bringing my workplace into my own house. I spent hundred and thousands of Koens to turn my storage room into a suitable workplace. They—”

“Who are they?” Lux snaps him into reality again.

“My children, they. They all know I’m betting on their future, their college money, on my job. I don’t have the heart to tell Jack and Jane that their father is a failure. That I lost the bet. I would rather jump off this bridge than to explain my flaw to them.” Jax took a deep breath and light a cigarette he had in his breast pocket. The smoke vented out of his nose, like a depressed raging bull.

“Lux, tell him about his brother!” Bran shouted.

“What, the dead one?” Lux replied in whispers.

“Yeah, that one. Ask him how he feels about losing him. The effect it had on the entire family.”

Jax is oblivious to Bran. His shout entered his ear and came out from a different one. A mortal could only hear it as a gust of wind. An angel’s presence is controllable and customizable from one person to the next. Useful for situation where Lux sometimes need to be coached for cases about persuasion, especially if the target is having an existential crisis.

“Jax, do you remember the death of Bobby and how everyone felt afterward?” Lux rested his hand on Jax’s shoulder.

“How could I not, it was tragic. He overdosed from eating a whole bottle of painkillers. I can remember clearly how we find him, lying on the ground, mouth foaming, eyes bleeding, body convulsing. The hospital couldn’t save him, he died on the way to the hospital. Wait what the fuck?” Jax was surprised by how candid he told the story. This is the first time he did it, the memory flows out from his mouth so effortlessly. That’s just an effect of the angel’s touch.

“Now, I already know about the whole story. Which is why I want you to realize the effect of his suicide. He was just like you, or maybe even worse. His business failed, his wife left him, and he hadn’t contacted his children in ages. Remember the time you must fill all the paperwork for his death. The way your mother cried in the corner for days. The way his children are afraid of the future, guideless, fatherless. The way everyone wore black, and sad, and angry at themselves for his death. His suicide killed not only him, but the spirit of the whole family and beyond. Instead of sulking like a child and giving to the extreme, you now have a choice. You could choose the ultimate escape and let your family rot without your presence. Or you could start to talk about your appraisal with your wife, your dear, and smart, and beautiful wife. Then play with your kids, while they still revere you, and adore you. This is the perfect time for you to let go of your mistake, repurpose your future into something everyone can enjoy. I understand that money is everything. But not everything can be bought with money. Often, you need a place to lie down, to be vulnerable, to exchange minds. Your strong willed, smart, and hopeful family is perfect for this. Realize you are better than Bobby. That you need to be better than Bobby. Don’t be Bobby. Be better.”

Jax heard and understood every word. His mind is churning what Lux just said, his hand shivers from the thought of hurting his own family. His sense of duty and logical mind, two things which the angel already knew, starts to piece the puzzle together. He realizes that suicide is not the right solution, not for his problem. His children is waiting at home, trying their best to welcome the weary father. Thousands of fragments of memories were played on the back of his mind. Replacing Bobby with himself, he can admit that it would hurt his family more than it helped them. The only logical way forward is to give his best for his family, not for himself. This feeling of his, the feeling of disappointment, will only hurt everyone and himself. The matter of fact is, all he need is to—

“To get good. Wait, huh?”

Jax swerved his head around, no one is there to answer him. The angel’s work here is done, nothing more the divine being can do except to watch this subject. It might not be perfect, but at least he don’t want to die in the near future. If that’s good enough for an angel, then it’s good enough for a human.

“I felt like, someone was talking to me. It’s like a conversation, about life and death. But someone is definitely missing. Who ever you are, thank you.”

The hierarchy of angels are determined by the amount of experience and Karma they have. Usually, the entry level angels can only take low level contracts such as preventing a suicide, preventing drunk & driving, preventing illness, and finding a lost kitten. Each contract is tailor made by the divine, there are goals to achieve, task to complete. An angel’s day is usually ended by visiting nearby headquarter.

The headquarters are located on every active place of worship on the land of Ha. Angels of from all ranks are expected to run the operation like clockwork, helping out humanity without rest. Lux was commonly found wandering inside of a small temple near the suspended bridge. An old building which are kept pristine by the monks and donations of its community. Volunteer dedicated themselves by sweeping the floor, tending the yards, and any paperwork that might come up. It’s called The Red Temple, a cozy place surrounded by tall trees that breaks out the sky’s light without fail. The ground is cold and damp, a perfect place to grow oxygen producing algae, keeping the air fresh and clean. Every part of the building was red, nowadays only its roof remains painted a dark red color.

The headquarter itself is not visible to the naked eye. Only an angel knew the activation phrase, which would reveal the true scale of the temple. One must say it with conviction and a clear mind in front of a tall mirror near the prayer mats. A wave of darkness swoops in from beneath one’s feet. The walls will start to fall one by one, until nothing could be seen except the mirror itself. After a single blink, everything will come into the light, as if transported to another dimension. A large figure appeared behind the darkness, a towering structure of 70 levels tall, all of which are filled with otherworldly humanoids much like Lux and Bran. The Red Temple is comparably small to the headquarter behind it, the back entrance leads to a well kept road made from stone and surrounded by greenery.

Lux and Bran walked the road towards the headquarters, everywhere beside the road is filled with benches, small ponds, short bushes, and natural grass. There are groups of angels from all around the world meeting and mingling to their heart’s content, laughing at jokes, trading trades, and gossips so hot it could melt a steel beam.

“Nothing out of the ordinary here. You’ve got the paper?” Bran cracked the silence.

Lux answered it by holding a piece of paper that appears from the back of his hand. With a single flick, it comes out naturally like a magic trick. But that’s how they store and retrieve items, no need for a backpack or containers.

They eventually arrived at a door made out of light, a light door. It’s three meters wide and five meters tall, the outsider can’t see what’s inside, but not the other way around. Lux knocked on the door to reveal a small hole the size of an eye. A girl looked through it from inside, she is matching their faces to a registry she had on hand. It took about ten seconds before the girl jumps down from a ledge connected to the door and shouts at another man behind it.

“Open the door Wylis.” She waves her hand to get the attention of Wylis, which stood on the other side of the door. This is the hundredth times she did this, just today.

“Acknowledge Diwa.” Wylis presses a button placed much higher than the height of the girl, a red button that’s comically easy to use.

The lumen of the door decreases gently, gradually everything on the inside is revealed. Earthy and smooth wood flooring that does not creak, warm aroma of a fresh cup of tea, indoor flowers in vase and paintings of past happenings. Lux walked into the front desk, a lady is waiting with a big smile on her face.

It’s Lady, the usually happy receptionist of this building. She has the power to move every elevator, open every door, and knew every schedule of everyone in the building. Her mind moves faster than any limbs on her body, she is known to multitask and solve problems on the fly. Yet she put her pen down when Lux came into her peripheral vision, an act of utmost respect and politeness. Lady expected Lux’s arrivals, yet it’s still protocol to always ask for his query.

“Welcome back Mister Lux, how may I help you today?”

Her perfume would fold any mere mortal within the radius of 15 meters. Lux is not affected by those scent, his mind already wandered someplace else. His lack of situational awareness, the masculine urge not to notice anything but his own goals, is what made him pure and innocent. Lady thought that’s exactly the quality she expects from Lux.

“I need to turn in my contracts, anyone available?” asked Lux, this is not the first time she asked this.

“Miss Dina should be available, please take elevator number three. She is on the thirtieth floor, search for a room without a door. You won’t miss it.” Lady rolled her eyes whilst cracking a small smirk.

“Someone should fix her door, like right now.” Lux answered with a bit of concern in his eyes.

“She can handle a bit more fresh air, I think. Go on, the elevator is here.” Lady waves her hand away, the elevator dings can be heard from where they stood.

Bran decided not to come with Lux upstairs, he thought he would rather finishes more contract before meeting with their handler. They part ways as the door of the elevator closes, he is thinking of spending his spare time outside among his old coworkers. He often meets them at the park, right around a weirdly shaped pond.

The thirtieth level of this building is quite famous with the amount of handler per square meter it has. Waiting chairs and sofas are lined up in front of each office’s door, like a doctor’s appointment. Dina’s room should be at the farthest corner of this level, with her door unplugged from its socket. No one is helping her to install a new door, so everything and everyone near her can hear the conversation. This blatant negligence towards office’s property should be the work of Lady, yet Lux had no proof, nor motivation to care about the real answer. Dina is sitting on a one person sofa, its surface made from leather dyed black. Her left arm rested on the armrest while holding a piece of tortilla chips she’s eating. Her mouth moves automatically, her eyes scans through a document she placed on her lap. The residue from her oily hand wasn’t transferred to the paper, thankfully.

“Must have been a quiet day, Miss Dina.” Lux proceed to grab a chair in front of her vacant desk.

Dina was shocked by Lux’s sudden appearance. Her focus was broken by the sound of the chair being dragged around the floor. She promptly closes her mouth, swallowing any left over in her hand, then stood up. The height differences is clear, she is still shorter than he is even when sitting.

“Today’s requests is so-so, you just caught me relaxing a bit, that’s all.” She wiped off crumbs from her mouth.

Lux presented three pieces of paper to Dina, contracts he managed to finish in the last five days. It includes a case of suicide prevention. Dina immediately enters her work mode, her eyes squint and scan those papers and evaluate the result on the fly.

“One case of lost and found, one case of accident prevention, and one case of suicide prevention. One is unlike the others, I see. It says here, your target is Jax Fergusson. This contract should’ve been for Bran, it’s not something a rookie like you should handle.” Dina taps her finger on the last paper.

“He gave me the contract as a part of the mentorship program. It gave me a lot of perspective as an angel, please don’t reprimand him.”

“I won’t do anything to him, in fact you should be proud he trusted you with a hard contract. You’ve got knack for this, all done with flying marks.”

Dina signed off all the papers with the blood coming out of her thumb. The streaks of red mark ran across the paper, from corner to corner. The paper blackens and disappear, disintegrating into tiny pieces before turning into metallic coins spawning, creating a messy pile.

She opened a cabinet on her dark wooden desk, grabbing one empty coin pouch made from felt-like material. It’s tied off with a thin leather stripes, to rope the top off from spilling its contents. Lux was reminded by a Role Playing Game he played when he was still a mortal. Fun times, he wanders when he can finally play it again.

“As usual, put all your money here before I gave you more contracts to do.” Dina handed him the felt pouch before sitting down again.

“Twenty five Karma for a week huh. That’s below average, don’t you think?” Lux sulks as he counted each coin before storing it in the pouch.

“Pretty average, and amazing for one so young. You’re going in the right trajectory, so don’t be too disappointed.” Dina took out an album of contracts from under the desk.

Each contracts came directly from the divine being, something so far yet so close, it’s a privilege to even know something so grand exist at all. The album neatly laminates the contracts which made it easier to read through and organizes it from oldest to latest. She put some love into it by labeling each contracts with its own categories. One particular label that stood out is a color coded difficulty she puts at the top of the contracts. A red label indicates a high complexity contracts while a white label is for the opposites. Dina deemed Lux is ready for a harder assignment, which corresponds to a green labeled contracts.

“Ah, let’s give you this one. Worth fifty Karma, fair enough for this kind of assignment. Have you ever traveled near the border?” Dina felt inquisitive, her eyebrows raises a bit.

“Never, not even as a mortal. Why, is that relevant?” Lux reflexively rested his back to the chair.

“Well, I think you might want to strap in. This one might be a bit more complex than your previous contracts.”